SID: You know, at 15 you were so on fire for God, but the things in the world just pulled it out of her literally.
KRISSY: Yeah.
SID: Then her daughter is born.
KRISSY: Yeah, I had become very dry and very far from that original intimacy that I had. I stopped seeking Him. Here I was, and I was this shell of myself. I wasn’t even myself anymore. I was dry, I was weary. I had my baby girl, and there was something about her life growing inside of my belly, that I could feel new life coming alive in me as well, spiritually. When she was born, it was like this world that I had built for myself, by myself, in and of myself, that wasn’t a strong foundation for me to stand on anymore. Suddenly, I’m a new mom and I can’t control anything. I was very aware of that, painfully aware of that.
KRISSY: In the middle of the night, I’m holding my little newborn baby, and I just began to feel at that place again, where I was at the end of my rope. I couldn’t go on in my own strength anymore, and I began to cry out again to the Father. I know there’s many that get to that place, where suddenly you’re face to face with the reality that you cannot do it on your own anymore, and that is the most beautiful place to be. In that moment, I’m holding my baby, it’s the dark and I’m the only one in the room, and I look up. I lifted my face, postured myself to surrender to the Father. I said, “God, who am I?” It’s like, “Here I am, who am I now? What do you want me to do?”
KRISSY: He said to me, “Krissy, look down.” I looked down and I saw my baby girl there, innocently in my arms. He said, “That, right there, that’s who you are. That’s what I want you to do.” It was so multifaceted, I’m her mom and also I’m to be like her for the Father, in His arms. He reminded me and He brought me back to that place of original awakening of who I am in Him, His daughter that he longs to just hold and wrap in His arms. I came alive, I came alive.
SID: Going back to these open visions, these encounters that you had, tell me about the dirt road.
KRISSY: Yeah, man. I went full bore after the Lord after that, with my baby girl. A few years later, I had been at a service. I was laying out in the presence of God, and I didn’t realize everybody had left the room, but they had. Suddenly, I wasn’t in the aisle-way of a church anymore. Suddenly, I was on a dirt road and I was laying there just utterly limp.
KRISSY: I saw a man in white begin to walk toward me, and he picked me up. In my heart, I’m thinking, “What is happening? Who is this? Where is he taking me?” Suddenly, I could see the throne, and I could see seated on the throne, the Lamb of God, and I could see Jesus. I could see him sitting there. I realized this was the Father, and He had picked me up, and He laid me at the feet of the lamb on the throne. He looked to the son, and He said, “Here you are son. Here I have found you another one. Here I give you the reward of your suffering, another life laid down in total surrender to you.”
KRISSY: In my heart, I’m trying to speak. No words could come out, but my heart began communicating with the heart of the Lamb. I said, “What am I doing here?” He wouldn’t answer that question. It wasn’t the right question. Then I asked in my heart, “What do you want me to say to them?” I knew, as much as I’d love to stay right there forever, there was a purpose for me on the Earth, a mandate from Heaven. “What do you want me to say to them,” I said. The Lamb answered me heart to heart, and he said, “You speak of the cross, you speak of my love,” and I said, “Okay, I’ll speak of the cross and I’ll speak of your great love.”
KRISSY: Then the Father picked me back up, and brought me back to that road He found me on. I realized by the Spirit in that moment, that was the road that was marked out for me, from before the foundations of the Earth were formed. There’s a road for us. Each of us are on a road and on a path, and we have purpose. Just lean back into the plans and the purposes of God and say, “Here I am Lord,” like Isaiah. We get caught up in this conversation from Heaven that says, “Who will go for us? Who can we send?”
KRISSY: The Father is looking for vessels to use on the Earth for His purposes and His glory. If we’ll just raise our hands in surrender and say, “Send me, I’ll go. Here I am.” He doesn’t need our background, our education, our perfection, our money. He doesn’t need all of that, our smarts. He just needs our availability, and He’ll use it.
SID: Now Krissy, you say that it’s okay to color, like in a coloring book, outside of the lines. You say God made you to stand out.
KRISSY: Yeah.
SID: Be right back.
