Sid: Now my guest is red hot for the Messiah; why? Because for 25 years he’s been free from sexual addiction. Doug how did you get addicted to pornography personally?
Doug: Well for me it’s you know I was conceived in adultery; I was put in foster homes; I was sexually abused. My mom gave me actually like a college text book on human sexuality that I use the pictures for. And so I was sexually addicted to really early on and then of course that led into other behaviors. And so for me it was definitely the enemies plan for my life to make sure I didn’t reach the destiny that God had for me.
Sid: And you know what I see, as I read about your life and I see how sabotaged you were I imagine you even say this “If you could be set free anyone could be set free and you’ve been free for 25 years!”
Doug: Yeah, and anybody can if they’ll use what we’re talking about the clean principals if they will do the work there is clean and freedom for any man or any woman who wants to do the work. Now fortunately sometimes this is a process and I don’t know if… I’d like to tell you a story if I could.
Sid: Please.
Doug: Okay I’ll use the name Dwayne since it’s the guy we use in the book. You know Dwayne’s a young guy kind of like some of us who grew up in the world; had his little porn and his little fantasy and his little self-behavior going on. And he married a really good Christian girl who you know didn’t have any of those issues but he never told her the truth. Unlike me I told my wife, that saved me probably a lot of wear and tear; but he kept it a secret. Now there is no such thing as a secret as we’re about to find out; so Dwayne kind of pretends to be the good Christian guy has this little side thing going on and there’s some guys right now you can totally identify with Dwayne. Your living isolated your being it’s a secret; you’re believing you’re getting away with it but you feel bad about it. Well, this was Dwayne and years ago went on well sure enough he fantasizing and stuff like this so in his work place shows up this younger girl. He starts flirting with her; she starts giving him attention; you know he’s paying the bills he’s working hard he doesn’t feel his wife appreciates him. So he’s sending that message to himself; this girl is appreciating him and giving him praise. And so he starts emotionally attaching to her and you know it they’re having a physical relationship when they’re traveling out of town and in town. And then she comes into his office she’s crying uncontrollably; he doesn’t know what’s going on and he tells her… she tells him rather. “Dwayne I’m pregnant.” Now this was all fun and games to Dwayne up to this point and then Dwayne’s in my office okay and they got to work on their marriage and things worked out but he has now a lifelong consequences for the thing he called the secret. And because instead of dealing with issues that he was struggling with with himself and then he brought into the marriage and issues in the marriage he decides to go kind of this kind of short cut way inside of an emotional relation and Sid he destroyed his life.
Sid: Now you talk about under authority which explains what’s going on.
Doug: That’s a great point because here Dwayne was not under authority; see in the book “Clean” I talk about the three owners of our sexuality. Now in America we are so far moved away from God’s standard that these seem foreign but these are Biblical principles. In Roman’s 12 verse 1, most of us memorize that and you know in one of our early Sunday School classes, but we’re to offer ourselves as a living sacrifice. That includes our body; and that includes our sexuality. So the first owner of all of our sexuality married or not is God; so you can ask God if what you’re doing with your sexuality is kosher, so to speak or this is okay; right. Now if you don’t have a direct hearing sheering relationship with God definitely pray for God to give that to you but if not call your pastor and say “Pastor, I’m thinking about looking at this porn doing this what do you think?” Now see if you’re really under authority you’ll make that phone call. And Sid I have that arrangement with my pastor and I have that for the last probably 15 years; any pastor in my life. I say “Listen you’re my spiritual authority if I feel like I’m going to act out or go into pornography I’ll call you first; are you okay with that?” And everyone has said “Yes.” And half of them said “Can I call you too?” I said 24-7 you have my cell number.
Sid: Okay, explain this authority more.
Doug: Well if you’re under financial authority you know to tithe; if you tithe your money’s blessed; if you’re not under authority your money is not blessed it’s pretty simple. If you’re under sexual authority you can have a blessed sexuality. So first be accountable to God or your pastor or spiritual leader. Secondly the second owner of your sexuality as a marriage person is your spouse 1st Corinthians 7:4. The body does not belong to the husband only but to his wife right; so if he’s thinking about using his body, his parts he’s to call his wife and say “Honey I’m thinking about doing this what do you think?”
Sid: Huh!
Doug: And I can tell you right now if the church of Jesus Christ would just use those two principals right there most of us would be clean. Now I honestly do that if I would ever have a thought like that I would call my wife Lisa and say “Lisa I’m thinking about this.” And she would pray for me; I mean it would be awesome I would not think about that; I haven’t had to make that phone call in 25 years but I’m committed to okay. But most guys don’t let their wives even be part of the battle and you keep the strongest person your ally in the dark and that’s really sad. So that’s number 2. The third owner of your sexuality is you; your authority as a 3rd owner of your sexuality is limited to the bathroom okay. And so we really… it makes it real simple. Okay God, spouse, me bathroom that’s it.
Sid: Okay we got a couple of minutes left; talk to people that are ensnared whether it’s pornography, adultery and give them hope if they get your kit.
Doug: Absolutely if you’re struggling you are the righteousness of God; you are clean in your hearts you deserve to have that clean in all of your life okay. Jesus Christ has died so that you can have clean in every area of your life; every area of your life including your sexuality. Now you may not be using my principals, you may not be being honest and open and accountable and using a lot of the clean principals that are in the materials you can be okay. I have seen men who have acted out severely, clean today; I’ve seen men not in their right minds ready to walk out on their wives clean today. I’ve seen women in multiple affairs stop those affairs and become the mom they were called to be, clean works. We’ve been using clean principals for over 20 years; these are tried and true Biblical principles that can set you free. That thing in your spirit that cries out to be clean; today you’re listening is a supernatural event. Take the next step, do the work and send Sid an email of how you become clean.
Sid: And tell me again how you developed these three tools that we offering called “The Clean Series.”
Doug: Well, I’ve been working with men with serious sexual addictions for over 20 years and we’ve been using these principals in conferences and in my office. People in Colorado Springs and we’ve seen these principles work again and again and again and again every time they’re applied. So Sid they work, and so what we did we put them together in the DVDs and the journal so that guys can huddle up and do it together; they can do this individually. But any church can add this to their discipleship ministry. Every man should go through this whether they’ve ever had an in pure thought or not so that we can become strong in this area as the church. And help our culture come back to sexual sanity.
Sid: Okay, we’re in an epidemic of pornography is just available and I don’t know this as a fact Doug but is it happening to younger and younger like children even are they getting into pornography?
Doug: Absolutely especially with the cell phone epidemic; I mean kids in junior high and elementary school have cell phones; they have a porn store in their pocket unless parents are blocking those cell phones they have access to pornography. And if you go talk to any secular school or Christian they’ll tell you that pornography is a huge problem on campus. And also sex-ting each other sending each other inappropriate pictures to each other. Yes, this is deteriorating and the enemy is now going down in age to start to ravage us, just like he did in the Children of Israel. And it is time that we say “No more on our shift clean is what it’s going to be; it’s going to be a clean shift for the church.” That’s what I’m praying for, a clean shift for the church around the globe.
Sid: And I pray that your home will be clean every member of your family, husband, wife, children, grandchildren. And as a matter of fact if you don’t have grandchildren, if you don’t have children yet, if you’re not even married stop the devil before he does his insidious thing that you’re going to have to bare that sin the rest of your life. Yes you’ll be forgiven but maybe you’ll have child out of wedlock.
